Really it’s all about perspective; how we see or experience something is not necessarily the only way or even, at times (like for me yesterday), vaguely realistic. It can be very frustrating not to mention alarmingly confusing when we find ourselves not being able to figure out how to organize our home when we seem to be able to have a perfectly organized office. Or when we were single somehow everything found a place but now that we are sharing our life with someone we find it almost impossible to even find a place for our tooth brush! It’s very common.

Yesterday I had the perfect excuse to go for my first drive in a car on my own! I was so looking forward to it. I needed to pick up some supplies for a client in north Toronto and drop them off to her home in east Toronto and following that I had a meeting not too far away. It was ideal. I got into the car and made my virgin voyage odyssey. I drove to the store, picked up the supplies and then headed east to her house. I couldn’t believe how easy everything seemed with a car. I drove up her street, saw her driveway and drove up. I thought to myself “Wow, this is so cool!” I did a flawless reverse out of the driveway when I had dropped everything off and headed to my meeting. The whole day was perfect, blue skies, hardly any traffic – couldn’t have been happier. When I returned home I dropped my client a quick note saying I had left her supplies in her back garden on the glass table.

My computer made a sound informing me a message had come in… from my client marked URGENT. “How odd? I wonder what’s up?” I read her message. “We don’t have a glass table in our back garden” Blimey!!!!! Where the +%$#@ had I left her things! I mean I distinctly remember driving into her driveway. I am sure it was her driveway. Turns out it wasn’t. I had left all her things in a complete strangers back garden. The stranger happened to be a friend and neighbour of my client so all worked out well.

But here’s why I mention this: I had only ever approached someone’s house as a passenger or pedestrian. I had never driven up a driveway. Until yesterday evening all driveways looked alike to me. Of course I didn’t realise that all driveways looked alike to me but obviously they did or I wouldn’t have driven up a complete strangers driveway, unloaded my car and made the few trips back and forth to their back garden dropping strange boxes off onto their glass table. I have no idea what they thought looking out at my happy face.

When we take on a new role, be it as a parent, a partner, or entrapreeur – we think that everything looks and is the same. But our world has changed but we are still looking at it through our old eyes – and they don’t give the true picture. Organizing your office when you are now sharing it in the same location as your home and personal life does change everything. It means seeing things from a new and completely different perspective. A lot of my work when I first start with clients is about getting them so “see” things in a new way. Not trying to fit the new life into the old perspective. Your life changes regardless of whether you see it or not. It’s all about perspective and learning to “see” in a new way. I promise I will never look at a driveway in the old way again!

As a parent, you may have experienced the panicky feeling before; suddenly you start forgetting simple things like names, tasks, phone numbers, addresses, or find yourself thinking “why did I come into this room?” And occasionally, a panicked feeling crosses your mind that one day birthdays and child-rearing memories will be gone. In my discussions with clients who are parents of young children, the inevitable “I think I have developed a memory problem” often slips out. I’ve heard “I think I might have Alzheimer’s” uttered under the breath of new moms too often.

It’s taboo isn’t it, to admit that you think you’re losing your memory… to admit your struggles as a new parent?

This phenomenon has been given a title - Mumnesia – and some say it is a genuine medical condition. Mumnesia is a symptom of complex life and societal situations and significant biological changes that happens to new moms.

Along with the stresses and pressures of being a new parent, there are also consumer driven messages to be a “good parent”; maintaining nutritious feedings, ideal childcare, picture perfect school schedules, extra-curricular activities, homework, friends, sleep-overs, shopping (the list goes on!) On top of the pressures to fit into the new parent role, the busy parents I meet with also balance the complexities of having and running a home, career, adult relationships and the struggle to find that work/life balance.

It doesn’t seem to me that the majority of the parents I work with have medical “Mumnesia“, but rather, are just new parents lacking the organizational tools that are essential for coping with all the new changes.

So what can you do to deal with this scary situation (on top of everything else you have to do?) First, take a moment to laugh at life’s simplest moments. Laughing helps me with stress reduction! This short video will make you smile.

Next, to cope with this worrying memory anxiety, use my tips for memory recall and task organization – these tips will not only help you to adjust to new parenting, but can help in any challenging new life situation.

1) Begin with a notebook - yes, writing it down really does help! Get one sturdy hard-cover notebook, and divide it into three sections; To-Dos, Communications (Call-backs), and Purchases; (books you want to read, courses you want to take, and the all important shopping list).

2) Log every call. Be sure to have the notebook with you each time you’re on the phone. Take notes – the phone number, what you discussed, the date of the conversation, and who you spoke to.

3) Cross it off! Note every action item, call or letter in your To-Do section. Review your list often, and cross off items as you go (even the littlest of tasks) – it will help!

4) Take it with you! The last section of your notebook should contain the names of books, classes or special interest purchases that you might want to make in the near future (kind of like a wish-list shopping list!). Having your action items, call list and shopping items in one book ensures that you’re not digging through scraps of paper, searching for that little post-it note, or forgetting the shopping list on the fridge. This hard-cover notebook contains everything you need to keep you on track.

5) A place for everything … and everything in its place. Yep. That’s right – your mother said it to you growing up but, in this case she did know best! File away important documents (couldn’t help it I had to mention filing!), and reduce those ‘Now where did I put that?’ moments by establishing designated places for keys, agendas, umbrellas….

6) Hydrate. One of the main symptoms of memory loss is dehydration. A lot of moms forget to drink throughout the day, so up you intake of water, herbal teas or fruit juices – now that was easy eh?